Monday, September 1, 2008

Australia or North Africa???

OK so my lovely friends and mostly family (Ashley this includes you because we are related twice now and I like you a lot so you are officially one of the many sisters!...I digress)
Here is the plan (I know Kate :)) I am leaving in about June ish. There are three options. Well actually the whole world is an option. Ok I am starting in the begging.
In the beginning...
When I came home from my DTS (discipleship training school) I was so happy to see everyone I loved here in America. I really was and I missed you guys so bad. But I was also quite sure I would be leaving again really soon. I mean come on God! I was totally ready!! (that was how a lot of my prayer times were). As some of you may remember I started planning a trip back to the Philippines, which ended in disaster. So, then I got it through my head God was saying wait. Lame! I was a little hurt and confused to because my place was not here! I knew that as a fact. I like being busy. I love serving. It makes me more happy than anything in the world. Serving God makes me feel like I am doing my dream of changing the world, and I feel more dependant and more connected with God then and other time in my life.
Anyway whenever I would pray God would say the same thing "by still and know that I am God" well God, hello I know you are God. Uhh! So frustrating!
Then the day came when He asked me "am I enough?" What?? what a silly thing to ask creator of the universe! Of course you are! then came the question "am I enough? If you stay in Portland Oregon your whole life and never lift a finger to serve the broken again. If you live the mundane, "normal" life, am I enough?" my answer very sadly was no.
I was broken. How had that happened? How had I, Kimberly, let serving and my dreams become more important? I was so focused on who I was going to save, what my next adventure was, I had lost what was so very precious to me. Sure I still read my Bible daily, sure I prayed often, but to what? For what?
God is good and gracious and He spent the otherwise very boring next few months of my life to teach me one thing. "you are loved" (direct quote). It was a hard lesson to learn. He stripped away everything that I thought made me happy. Every organized ministry I tried died in the beginnings. If you knew me well through these months since being home, I have tried to put on a happy face but these extremely boring months have been excruciating.
I am not loved because of the work I do, I am not loved for how fun I am, I am not loved because I read my Bible and pray. I am loved because I was created to be loved.
Not that I will always rely on that, not that I won't for sure screw it up, because God is my father, and he loves me so much, He is giving me another chance. He has opened up the world for me and said I will bless you wherever you go. well...
So wow! My dream. Thank you so much Jesus.
Now the fun and slightly stressful part!!! where to go??

Here are the options I think I have narrowed down, however if God like sends an angle telling you that I should go somewhere else, cool. Let me know.
anyway options are:
-North Australia ---I would be a School Staff
-South Australia ---I would be a school staff
-North Africa base --- I would work at their regional base in s. Spain and work in north Africa wherever they needed me.

I am really leaning on the North Africa base. Let me know what you think and please be praying for me.
and know that you are loved.

3 comments:

Kate said...

I think God wants you in Phoenix...why is that not listed under your "options??" There is tons to do down here!

Tera said...

HA! I stalk you now! No more sharing private secrets you don't want just anyone to know:)
Thanks for sharing Kimberly, I had no idea what you have been up to. Sad, we are cousins you know;) I'll be praying for clear direction and perfect timing. Please keep us posted!

I'm going to be a Ropp! said...

MMMM...God says spend time with your favorite twice related sister. Me. =) Thanks for including me, I feel loved. I will say lots of prayers for you! I think you could do amazing work in Africa, but I'll let you know after I talk it over with the big man!